Conversations are treacherous things — their demands are endless; their subtleties are many; and too often do you find yourself pondering words, wondering what your child’s seemingly innocent remarks could mean.
Brooding is not an effective form of parenting, however. Its results are too meager. Instead you must learn to communicate — allowing conversations to offer insights instead of concerns.
Ask Questions
Communication demands more than occasional smiles, the bland pleasantries. Parents must instead search for topics. Questions must be asked — even as they may seem too awkward or too demanding. Children will rarely venture information without first being prompted. The only way to gain answers therefore is to seek them out.
Listen to Responses
There are no certainties in life — and this is proven all too easily in the words children may offer. Responses may not be what parents desire to hear. They may instead cause horror, frustration or worry. It’s essential, however, to allow all answers to be given. Youths must be allowed to speak, rather than being forced to remain silent. This is the only way to create a dialogue.
Avoid Accusations
Anger is an easy emotion. It can spark with little effort, can steal all sense (with screams bubbling out again and again). This is not helpful, however, and parents must refrain from giving in to initial moods. The intention of communication is to solve concerns. That can’t succeed, though, if accusations are tossed about. All words must therefore be calm and reflect a desire to support.
Dialogue can be achieved. It simply requires initiative, patience and the ability to ignore emotional impulses.
